Becoming a writer is difficult, and I am far from being confident to call myself one. At the moment I'm just a storyteller. But I still remember the day I realized writing was more than just a hobby. I won't bore this short blog with such an elaborate story on how my writing began. Instead, I'll intrigue you with my story of why it began.
In 2005 I wasn't homeless, but I was living in my car. Turns out the guys in front of Home Depot aren't as reliable as legitimate contractors when it comes to home remodeling. So I slept in my car for a little over eight months.
I felt madness swallowing every inch of my body. I can't imagine what it would've been like without my Jetta, my home on wheels, car sweet car. So I wrote. I wrote about my daily activities, not to write a journal to share with anyone. No. It was more like a log. I logged in my whereabouts to avoid redundancy. You see, people aren't fond of a stranger suspiciously parking in front of their homes. I parked on a particular street almost every evening for two weeks. After the second week, the police came knocking on the driver's side window. They allowed me to go on about my day with a warning. Since then, the log came in handy.
I was upset. Upset that these people actually called the cops on me. I wish I knew who did it, I thought. Bitterness devours the soul. I tried to calm myself, but almost every week since that incident, something new tackled my routines with such force, that I became someone else. I didn't know that "that someone else" was there. It took me a long time to figure it out. Looking back now, it really was an entire different person that took over my body like an avatar. So we'll just refer to that part of me as "that someone else".
"That someone else" was...different to say the least. He destroyed relationships with significant others, friends, and coworkers. "That someone else" took over for quite some time. It was difficult trying to get back to myself when everything seemed to be falling apart. 2005 was difficult and "that someone else" did things that he nor I can take back. I learned a lot about who I didn't want to be after what I was becoming that year. I'm sure some of my close friends can attest that those were tough times for me. They're close to me now because they put up with me then.
He followed me into 2006.
It was mid 2006 when I realized he was there. He got into trouble mid 2006. Someone did something to him and he retaliated. We won't get into the nitty gritty of the incident because it's not worth mentioning. But the retaliation brought me back. I woke up.
Since then I stopped him. He hadn't been back for quite sometime. Until another incident later that year, again not worth mentioning, occurred. (Throughout these blogs, these "incidents" will systematically and surreptitiously become part of my fiction.)
He tried to take over, but was unsuccessful. I stopped him, but I realized I couldn't silence him. That's the day my writing became more than a hobby. I used him to my advantage because he was vile, conniving, and most importantly he was creative. I wouldn't let him take matters into his own hands. Instead, we compromised. I handled situations like a rational adult in the real world and "that someone else" handled them in a fictional world.
For the record, "that someone else" wouldn't initiate these incidents. No. This was something neither of us did. He was more livid when these incidents happened to good people.
Personally, I would never be able to be a vengeful hero the way most of my protagonist in my fiction are (my current intended reader pointed this out to me). "That someone else", however, had a sense of creativity only he could fabricate.
After about two years of writing unsuccessful stories, I've been able to move away from "that someone else" and let my characters take matters into their own hands.
As I've developed my style of writing I no longer let "that someone else" take over my characters. Yes, I needed him to begin my writing, but I no longer need him to fuel it. Now, my writing has really taken its own course of creativity, dialogue, and linguistic mechanisms to give me a mediocre amount of confidence to post some of them on this blog.
So here we are. I'll post short stories, chapters of longer stories, and stories I need help finishing with your feedback. Go easy on them, because although I'm gaining confidence in this field, I still don't consider myself a writer let alone a good one.
Although I no longer turn to that someone else to dictate what I type, I do, from time to time, ask myself, "What would he do in this situation?"
During the course of reading my tales drop me a line if you think "that someone else" may have inspired some of them. I think you'd be surprised how often he hasn't.
